Lindsay Lohan Paparazzi Slayer: Never a dull moment in the life of Lohan. When she and her assistant were picked up in Hollywood on Sunday morning her car was reportedly swarmed by paparazzi and when driving away it clipped one, hurting his wrist. Of course this is now being reported as Lindsay mowing down the pap action movie style.

Tila Tequila Pregnant….Surely God could not allow it: Gossip columnists must think they’ve died and gone to heaven since someone kicked over the rock that was hiding Tila Tequila. In her latest bout of crazy Tequila has hinted she may be pregnant. Doubtful a diluted tequila is on the way but it raises the question – is there anything she wouldn’t say/do?

Parents Charged for Tattoing their Children: A couple from Georgia have been charged with cruelty to children and reckless conduct for tattooing their kids, aged 10 to 17, using a needle made from guitar string. Parenting at its best. Apparently the kids wanted to be more like their parents and get cross designs on the hands or ‘Mom and Dad’ tattoos…aw…touching.

Today she again got her tweet on in a rage after she apparently “caught” Ronson. She said: “Funny how I’m rushing back to see Samantha Ronson when she says she’s with her step- bro alone – and 2girls? That wasn’t mentioned. (sic)”  She then went on to say: “Trust yourself, and be true to you… Don’t let others distract you from who you are and what you want 2010 xo. (sic)” and finished with “I’m over being sad.”

Aw…poor Lindsay…maybe you need a vacation in Ireland?

• Milkshake Lingerie - and no I’m not making a dirty joke: Amongst the 20,000 types of lingerie to be showcased at the international lingerie trade fair in Paris  (January 23-25) will be a bra (see pic) whose foam cups expand as your body temperature rises (a dead giveaway if you’re getting a little hot under the ‘collar’ on a date!).

Also on show, according to event organisers, for the older lady, is a cupless anti-wrinkle bra designed to keep breasts apart whilst you sleep to help smooth out wrinkly cleavage – stunningly attractive I’m sure. Why not just sellotape them over your shoulders instead!?

Milkshake, a French range of lingerie, will also have attendees drooling as it’s made of a fabric made of milk proteins which, according to the fair’s fashion manager, is “as soft as satin”. It might be soft but milk protein underwear….I won’t even go there.

• Iris Robinson – People having affairs with boys 40 years their junior shouldn’t throw stones: It was revealed this week that holier than though homophobe, Irish Robinson, wife of Northern Ireland’s First Minister had an affair with a man believed to be aged 19/20 at the time – she’s 60.

Robinson endeared herself to the gay community when she compared homosexuality to paedophilia and declared it an abomination. She said: “I cannot think of anything more sickening than a child being abused. It is comparable to the act of homosexuality. I think they are all comparable. I feel totally repulsed by both.”

She had previously said in a radio interview on UTV that homosexuality was a mental disease which could be “cured”. In December Robinson stepped down from her position as an MP due to a battle with depression. It has since emerged that she attempted suicide last March as she struggled with the impact of her affair. So apparently being gay goes against the 10 commandments but adultery and suicide are just peachey!

Everyone’s favourite Firecrotch, Lindsay Lohan, is rumoured to be dating Gucci model, Adam Senn. According to reports they spent New Years Eve together partying the night away and she brought him to her sister Ali’s 16th birthday bash.

However Lohan has said they’re just friends on Twitter: “I’m not dating my friend lol, people are nutso, and its not a way to start of the new year with rumors ”. There may be still hope.