The Ministry is running a project whereby it turns off the lights and bundles staff out the door with a nudge nudge wink wink early every three weeks to “help staff get dedicated to childbirth and upbringing”. It should be noted that ‘early’ to the South Koreans is 7pm! No wonder they’ve baby making issues – they must be walking zombies!

The health ministry is dangling all sorts of carrots in front of employees to drive them to copulate including cash gifts and generous gift vouchers for staff who produce more than two babies! My boss gave me a Rolo today and babies were never discussed. Not surprising since in Ireland we’re on the brink of a baby boom with a birth rate of 17.2 per 1,000 population for the first six months of 2008 compared with 16.2 in 2007 when the EU average was just 10.6. Soon the Government will be doing a mass mail-out of condoms with our voting cards and turning off the hot water so it’s cold showers all round.

In contrast South Korea’s birthrate is one of the lowest in the world at 1.19 in 2008. They fear the population will begin to shrink within a decade causing economic and social problems.

Health Minister Jeon Jae-Hee told the Korea Times newspaper that increasing the country’s young population is “actually the most urgent and important issue the country is facing.”

I’m sure most Irish people would like to ‘county swap’. Ireland’s pressing issues = rising unemployment, erratic and miserable weather, banking crisis, recession depression. South Korea= The imminent need to have unprotected sex sanctioned by the government.

Fronted by Sunday Tribune journalist Una Mullally (who also runs Thursday club night ‘Soundcheck’ at Spy), the programme will shine a light on up and coming Irish bands as well as interviewing well-known names like The XX and Passion Pit.

The Irish language programme is launching tonight with a bit of a bash and a special screening at Spy. It kicks off at 7pm and entry is free.

Lindsay Lohan Paparazzi Slayer: Never a dull moment in the life of Lohan. When she and her assistant were picked up in Hollywood on Sunday morning her car was reportedly swarmed by paparazzi and when driving away it clipped one, hurting his wrist. Of course this is now being reported as Lindsay mowing down the pap action movie style.

Tila Tequila Pregnant….Surely God could not allow it: Gossip columnists must think they’ve died and gone to heaven since someone kicked over the rock that was hiding Tila Tequila. In her latest bout of crazy Tequila has hinted she may be pregnant. Doubtful a diluted tequila is on the way but it raises the question – is there anything she wouldn’t say/do?

Parents Charged for Tattoing their Children: A couple from Georgia have been charged with cruelty to children and reckless conduct for tattooing their kids, aged 10 to 17, using a needle made from guitar string. Parenting at its best. Apparently the kids wanted to be more like their parents and get cross designs on the hands or ‘Mom and Dad’ tattoos…aw…touching.

The singer gave birth to her first child, Clodagh Henwood, a month ago and this new single, ‘Mommas Place’, marks a new chapter in the Irish electro-pop queen’s life. The song was the first written by Murphy whilst pregnant and, according to her, through the lyrics she’s telling her child “don’t think you can get one over on me, I’ve been there, I’ve done that: I’ve been as naughty as you can be.” Naughty eh!? I’d well believe it.

The song is Catchy with a capital C so motherhood certainly becomes her. It’s available to purchase in the UK on January 18th and in the US on January 19th. The album artwork certainly catches the eye and raises the eyebrow as it features a very pregnant Murphy who has clearly abducted Lady Gaga’s stylist.

Murphy has had various problems with record label EMI and is planning to record a range of tracks and send them out into the ether without the hullabaloo, and no doubt the pressure, that comes with big label promotion. In a recent interview with Entertainment Weekly she confirmed her plans saying:“…I haven’t recorded a new album as such. I’ve recorded a lot of songs, but I haven’t planned beyond just putting the songs out there and letting them have their own life, and see how the music lives on its own, without videos, without a big promotion. It’s more just about getting songs out there and letting them have their own life.”

Last week rough cuts of ‘Mommas Place’ appeared online. Writing on her MySpace page, Murphy wrote: “I hear there has been a leak of Momma’s Place. Oh dear, I am all for the freedom of the internet, it’d just that the quality control is sometimes a little amiss… and I’m funny about stuff like that. The rip that is available is not up to scratch. So, please wait for the real thing, it’ll sound way better! Coming soon…”

You can check out ‘Mommas Place’ here and below is a video of Roisin and her little pooch (a dog…not the baby) talking about the song.

The seventh and final Harry Potter book, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows has been divided into two movies. The first of which will be released in November 2010 and the second in July 2011. Can’t wait? Check out the trailer here which was recently released online.

So when you’re the hottest thing since toast what do you do with your time? You play the festivals pimping your wares and then…you release a short film?

Yep, the Indie threesome star in the bizarre 7 minute black and white film “Snakesweat”, directed by Barney Clay -- the man behind some of the bands music videos (most recently that for Zero). It’s dark, it’s arty and I couldn’t turn it off. The band describe it as:

“A mescaline-infused short featuring the YYYs playing severely warped versions of themselves.”

These ‘warped versions’ see crazy Karen O playing the role of the ‘Black Widow’, puffing on cigars, shooting a semi-auto and flashing thigh in El Paso, Texas. Drummer Brian Chase and guitarist Nick Zinner portraying the Philosopher and the Scientist. Weirdly intrigued??